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One thing the Glitterer, this Glitterer, does from time to time now is read old books. In fact, he has been reading the ancient books and works of all shades, books and essays that he had read before. The first time one reads a book or any work, one, generally speaking, does not read it very carefully – one just runs through it for the story or narration or for whatever it is worth or not worth. One has to keep re-reading; one has to keep running and re-running through any work to be read and re-read repeatedly. Every time he feels like it, this Glitterer reads Shakespeare, up to our Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, JP Clark, Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikiwe and others, straight through. Clearly, the Glitterer does not claim to have any definite or well-laid-out plan of reading through almost everything called printed words or books. And he really likes anything, any printed stuff, that is good.
As the Glitterer reads books, so also does he read men – especially Nigerian men in public offices. He tries to learn something about them. His leaning, however, tilts towards Nigerian central ministers and the spokespersons of the helmspersons who appointed them. Now, the Glitterer’s distinct preference is for two men who are in President Tinubu’s administration. These two men are among the key ministers/officials in President Tinubu’s government. The second person is a non-minister whose power rivals that of any cabinet member, derived entirely from the influence President Tinubu grants him. In other words, the second individual is a non-minister who holds immense influence, seemingly outranking any official minister due to President Tinubu’s favour.
Let the Glitterer begin with the second individual, Mr Bayo Onanuga, a non-minister whose official designation is Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy. Without an ounce of doubt, this specific role was created for Mr Onanuga as a carefully custom-designed portfolio to “enhance institutional communication and synergy between the Presidency and Federal Ministers”. He is the first to receive my attention here because he is an artistic communicator who seemingly has not been communicating as an artistic communicator. He has overwhelmingly overwhelmed the official Minister of Information and National Orientation in President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s cabinet. How many of us know that Alhaji Mohammed Idris (Malagi) is the designated minister of the central Ministry of Information and National Orientation? In arithmetical or mathematical calculation or percentage terms, the answer would fetch a lowly score.
Bayo Onanuga has an answer for every laughable or serious statement, situation or puzzle relating to anything under the sun regarding President Tinubu’s administration. Bayo Onanuga is an all-knowing insider or spokesperson who has an explanation, excuse or solution for absolutely everything that happens in President Tinubu’s government. This clue to every puzzle in Tinubu’s administration is never confused. He understands the hidden motives or inner workings behind every event. He performs every laughable or un-laughable task and addresses any such statement. He addresses everything, from ridiculous political gaffes and jokes to dead-serious policies and crises. There is no limit to his knowledge or commentary regarding this specific presidency. No one should misunderstand the Glitterer. He admires this former guerrilla journalist a great deal. I chuckled as the Glitterer merely did when asked to compare Bayo Onanuga and Lai Mohammed. Who still remembers the latter? The Glitterer does not have a clue. What is appealing to the Glitterer is that the above sentences combine to give him a quasi-rounded picture of the polished President Tinubu’s spokesperson, who very recently took Peter Obi, the “nomadic” presidential candidate of the Obidients, to the cleaners without polish – as always.
Now let the composer ask a curious question: Is it not curious that Bayo Onanuga has, up to my moment of writing, not addressed a curious scenario in Engineer David Umahi’s country-home residence in Uburu, Ebonyi State, in the South-East? Very recently, a woman called Mary Habila, of Kaduna State origin, died on the powerful minister’s premises, allegedly in questionable or suspicious circumstances.
The central Minister of Works, one of President Tinubu’s very beloved ministers – always in the news for the wrong reasons, allegedly – spoke and spoke at different times about what happened (or did not happen) to the fine woman who has died. His different versions of what happened (or did not happen), no matter how crazy (or not crazy) they are (or were), could have been given plausibility if only Bayo Onanuga, the artistic spinner of sunny sentences, had come out to embellish the defence of our Honourable Minister of Works, the one and only professor of roads and bridges in the Tinubu government.
I saw the powerful and influential minister, a fellow nomadic politician like Peter Obi, on Arise Television not long ago, explaining something relating to a poor portion of the coastal road still under construction. My memory went to the Benin-Sapele-Warri Highway, which has been under re-reconstruction for years now. Nothing is seemingly going well on that tragically ugly road, despite the promise and assurance Mr David Umahi gave in the past to fix it promptly, without tragic delay. That was then. Money dey burn now as the road dey burn our hopes and joy. I have penned several articles pertaining to this wonderfully bad highway in times past. We dey suffer for Niger Delta – especially we people of Warri. We hear the coastal road that the road and bridge engineer is birthing for Nigeria will no longer pass through our terrain and territory. Na true? Who you don corner and kolobi our part to?
Now, before the Glitterer suspends this discourse, he wishes to congratulate Big Man David Umahi on the graduation of his twin children from Sheffield University, England. Arise Television beamed intensely how the minister-in-the-news basked in the warm glow of his gratitude to his twin boy and girl, who graduated in England rather than in Nigeria. What ample money in pounds sterling well spent! And, oh dear, Bayo Onanuga! Join me in congratulating Minister David Umahi on the milestone. But do not do so with any kind of guerrilla salute. What “two advertisements” in one picture for two of the President’s highly favoured men! And what bombardment will the ex-guerrilla journalist unleash on the Glitterer for advertising what he has advertised! No matter what he does, I admire Bayo Onanuga for doing a job he was hired to do. But has the Glitterer read him and the professor of road-less roads and bridge-less bridges well? What a question!
*Afejuku, is Professor Emeritous, University of Benin.
Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of Vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.
