‘Go home and do the work’: confronting violence against women starts in families - IOL

Parents and guardians are called to raise better men for the betterment of society.

NINE women have now been found brutally murdered across Ekurhuleni. Their bodies were discarded in fields, beside roads and in open spaces. Police are investigating whether the killings are connected, but have not yet confirmed that a serial killer is responsible.

The horror is unfolding in a country where women were killed at a rate of 12.2 per 100 000 in 2022, almost six times the global average. That was approximately seven women every day.

During 2023/24, 42,569 rapes were reported to the police more than 116 every day and we know many more were never reported. The National Prosecuting Authority recorded a 74% conviction rate for sexual offences in 2024/25, but let us be clear: that percentage applies only to cases that reached a verdict. It is not 74% of all rapes committed, or even all rapes reported. Thousands of women never see their perpetrator prosecuted.

We cannot keep asking what has become of society. This is not the first time women have been slain in South Africa and, unless something changes, it will not be the last.

The president and community leaders will condemn it. Law enforcement will promise that no stone will be left unturned. We will march, wear a particular colour, light candles and post photographs. Then the outrage will quieten until another woman is raped, another body is found and another family is destroyed.

What do we expect to change when nothing changes after the speeches?

We do not need more words. We need definitive action from government, from the justice system, from our communities and, most importantly, from our homes.

I believe we are living in unfathered times. Some may take exception to that statement, but I stand by it. Men, go home. Go to your children and to every boy or young man over whom you have influence.

Teach him that strength is not domination, aggression or control. Teach him to respect women, protect them, nurture them and honour their dignity.

I have heard the argument that some mothers deny fathers access to their children, and I do not dispute that this happens.

But I ask fathers: how serious are you about being present? Both men and women have legal rights and the right to enforce them. No more excuses!

Raising better men requires five deliberate things: be present, not only financially but emotionally; model respect, especially in how women are spoken to and treated; teach accountability, so cruelty is never dismissed as “boys being boys”; teach consent and emotional discipline from childhood; and heal the wounds within your home, because hurt people always hurt people.

This will take mothers and fathers, men and women. Love, discipline, boundaries and values must return to our families. We must raise people who build rather than break, who uplift rather than trample on the dignity, rights and lives of others.

Raise your voice, yes but then go home and do the work. Become the shield, raise the protector, not the perpetrator.

Lisa Sukdev is an award-winning property practitioner, entrepreneur, communications specialist and author. A devoted mother and passionate humanitarian, she writes with honesty and warmth about life, relationships, purpose and the lessons found in everyday moments.

The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or post.co.za