'I have to keep going for my son': S'porean man's journey as a single father at 27 - Mothership

Raymond shares his journey as a single father and how he ultimately overcame his struggles for the sake of his child.

What do you do if your wife leaves you and your 6-year-old son, forcing you to become a single father at the age of 27?

For single father Raymond Wong, it was a shock but also an inevitable outcome.

“I saw this coming when my son was around four to five years old. She didn’t bother. She would go out often and come back late at night, while I was busy working.”

His wife’s hands-off approach was a source of countless arguments between the couple, who eventually split, with Wong getting sole custody of his son, Rayden.

But it was just the first of a trifecta of misfortune.

Within the same period, both his mother and brother suffered strokes. While his mother recovered, his brother was not so lucky—after spending two months in the intensive care unit, he passed away.

Wong was a few years into his job as an APO when he became a single father. Image courtesy of Raymond Wong.

“I told myself that I had to do it for my son.”

“Wah so many things happened that year. It was quite stressful,” Wong, who is now 32, recalled.

“Back then, I felt it was very unfair,” said Wong, who has been working as an AETOS auxiliary police officer (APO) for 11 years.

“But I had no choice, I couldn’t force my ex-wife to stay on. I had to keep a positive mindset. I told myself that I had to do it for my son.”

It helped that he had supportive superiors at work who empathised with him and advised him to take it on the chin.

Wang recalled his Officer Commanding (OC) Gary and Officer-in-Charge (OIC) Wee Poh encouraging him to “stay strong, keep going and not give up, especially when things were difficult”.

“Their support reminded me that difficult periods are temporary and that I should continue doing my best for my family. Sometimes, it was not even about giving advice, just having someone willing to listen and support me meant a lot.”

Faced with supporting his young son as well as his aged parents, Wong depended a lot on social support from the government and did not spend unnecessarily on himself.

“I started to quit smoking, drinking, eating out, buying things for myself, unnecessary shopping and personal wants,” he explained.

“For me, my son and my parents came first. There were times when I would rather go without something I wanted if it meant having enough for their needs. It was not always easy, but I felt that providing for my family was more important than having the things I wanted.”

Wong showing us a photo of him and his son. “Looking back, I don’t really see those sacrifices as something I lost out on. They were sacrifices I was willing to make because they gave me a reason to keep pushing forward,” he said. Photo by Joshua Lee.

He took on as much overtime as possible, determined to maximise his earnings and build greater financial stability for his family.

Wong threw himself into work in order to support his son and elderly parents. He credits his colleagues for being supportive and understanding. Image courtesy of Raymond Wong.

On the few rest days he had, he made time for what mattered most, bringing Rayden and his parents out for a jalan-jalan and a meal together.

The time with family was especially precious given the demands of his job. As an APO responsible for safeguarding key installations in Singapore, Wong knows that the work comes with significant responsibility.

For Wong, much of the satisfaction comes from working with a team of like-minded colleagues, as well as the camaraderie they share.

And that was Wong’s life for the past 11 years.

Balancing work with the responsibilities of being a single father has not always been easy, but Wong prefers to focus on the support he has received along the way.

He speaks warmly of his son, Rayden, who has grown up understanding the demands of his father’s work, and of his parents, who have been an important source of support throughout the years.

Over long hours spent deployed with his fellow APO Fahzirah, the two bonded over their love for hiking and watching movies.

Wong, Fahzirah, and Rayden. Image courtesy of Raymond Wong.

Not only did Fahzirah not mind that Wong came with a young son, she actually hit it off with the boy, connecting over arcade games and food.

From the care and love that she showers on Rayden, the respectful way she communicates with Wong’s parents, to her willingness to drop everything to help someone—these qualities convinced him that she was his other half.

In early 2026, Wong and Fahzirah tied the knot.

The couple wed in early 2026. Image courtesy of Raymond Wong.

It’s a beautiful milestone in Wong’s journey as a single father, one that coincides with his progression at work.

From his earliest deployments as an APO working with inmates, Wong has undergone several promotions, becoming a team leader and today, taking on more responsibilities.

Again, he shied away from tooting his own horn, but spoke warmly of how his supervisors saw his potential and encouraged him to pick up courses that developed his management skills.

They also gave him valuable career advice that allowed him to grow as a leader, and become more confident in handling people, operations, and difficult situations.

"They always reminded me to look at the bigger picture, take ownership of my responsibilities and continue developing myself. One thing that has stayed with me is the importance of not just completing a task, but understanding why we are doing it and how our decisions can affect the team and the operations."

Wong has become more confident in handling people, operations, and difficult situations, thanks to the nurturing provided by his superiors at work. Image courtesy of Raymond Wong.

Wong has also become more confident at home.

“I’ve accomplished many things that I didn’t know I could do—get a house of my own, own a motorcycle, feed my family, raise my son and get him into a good school.

“Looking back, I think I’m actually quite proud of myself.”

Interested in exploring a career at AETOS? Find out more here.

Thanks to this sponsored article by AETOS Holdings, this writer had a chance to be inspired by Raymond’s story.