Maria Shriver, Trump and truth about those narcissism comments - USA Today

Amid an ongoing dispute over the Kennedy Center, Maria Shriver is reupping a descriptor for President Donald Trump that's been long used but not entirely understood: narcissistic.

The former first lady of California and niece of former President John F. Kennedy criticized the president on social media after he threatened to cancel renovations to the performing arts center unless his name is added to it.

"How small minded, how narcissistic," she wrote. "Actually great men, devoted to public service and the public good do not act like this," she wrote. USA TODAY has reached out to the White House for comment.

But what is a narcissist, really? If you’ve been online in the last decade, you’ve probably heard it thrown around to describe those who are self-absorbed, entitled and manipulative – from overbearing parents to destructive exes. But narcissism is a complex phenomenon that is often misunderstood and oversimplified.

Psychologists say a pathological narcissist is someone who is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, a condition that only affects an estimated 5% of the population. According to Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy and the need for attention and admiration, among other things. 

Narcissists can be controlling and intolerant while refusing to acknowledge wrongdoings. Instead, they'll use manipulative strategies to escape blame, such as gaslighting or devaluing.

More generally, narcissism is a personality style characterized by arrogance and entitlement, Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author of "Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist", previously told USA TODAY.

"It cuts across most situations, and it's stable and consistent," she said.

This isn't the first time Trump has been called narcissistic. Since his candidature in 2016, many media outlets seemed to ask a different version of the same question: Is Donald Trump a narcissist?

And the narcissism discourse around Trump didn’t stay in the political arena, either. Instead, it sparked a public awareness about narcissism that grew into a national curiosity, according to experts.

The word “narcissist” became a main topic of our culture’s conversations around relationships, dating and mental health – lobbed at everyone from presidential candidates to serial killers.

Google Trends data reflect this: Web searches for “narcissism” skyrocketed between September 2016 and January 2017, just as Trump was elected and took office.

“I'm going to pin a lot of this to the presidential election in 2016 because more journalists were using the term,” Durvasula said. “That word and ‘gaslighting’ − all those words started bubbling up more into sort of national news.”

Narcissism is a complex issue, and its nuance often gets lost on social media, where short-form content reigns supreme, according to Durvasula.

“People are taking a very simplistic view of it,” Durvasula said. “People will go online and say, 'All narcissists cheat' or 'You've got to leave your narcissistic relationship now.' And the vast majority of us can't leave every narcissistic relationship we're in. It doesn't work that way."

So while therapists agree wider awareness of narcissism has been a good thing overall, the mainstreaming of the term is a double-edged sword, as it risks undoing the progress of legitimate experts and victims of narcissism.

"I think there's a simplification of advice and feedback, which can sometimes shame people and confuse people," Durvasula noted.