Opinion | Kathleen Wynne: Mark Carney has taught Canadians how to handle a global bully - Toronto Star

What worries me is that the behaviour of Trump on the world stage is poisoning interactions everywhere. Cruelty, insults and the mimicry spewed by a man unworthy of his office are being normalized.

Kathleen Wynne was Ontario's first woman premier and leader of the province's Liberal Party from 2013 to 2018. 

There is no shortage of commentary across multiple media platforms on the subject of U.S. President Donald Trump as a bully. Indeed, reading the stream of entries, it is fair to say there is a strong consensus that this is what and who the man is.

Whatever his origin story, whatever he endured as a child (and there is plenty of analysis of that in an online search), he has spent much of his life bullying others into submission — repeatedly, cruelly and relentlessly.

We are watching in real time as Prime Minister Mark Carney and leaders around the world try to find the best way to take on this global bully. And our children are watching. We need to pay attention to what they are learning.

“He was and is a bully’s bully — vulgar, chaotic, angry, uninformed, impulsive, vindictive. I have seen the harm bullies cause, and I have spent much of my life trying to stop them. I fought schoolyard toughs who teased and harassed me for being short.”

The definition of bullying is “unwanted, aggressive behaviour that involves a real or perceived power imbalance and is repeated over time” (American Psychological Association, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Anti-Bullying Alliance).

This is the agreed-upon definition used by educators across North America for decades. It is the definition that researcher and bullying expert Deb Pepler used in Ontario during the 1990s when she and I were working with children and their teachers in schools around Ontario to help them develop skills to resolve interpersonal conflicts and deal with bullying on the schoolyard and beyond.

I was working with kids on conflict resolution and Deb was clarifying the distinction between those skills and the need for a different approach when it came to the damage done by bullying. Conflict is a normal part of human relationships. It can be a crucible for creativity and an opportunity for growth.

Bullying is toxic and destructive. It wears down the sense of self and confidence of the victim by instilling fear. It usually cannot be resolved by the victim and the bully on their own and in the case of the schoolyard requires that adults intervene.

We learn about bullies early. We develop a fear of bullies when we are young and if we are victims of bullying we do not forget.

Millions of children across Ontario and the country are back in school. They have gone back to those schoolyards where they will inevitably encounter both normal, healthy conflict and its more dangerous cousin, bullying. They have started the school year in an environment of anxiety and anger in Canada.

We are being bullied, not by the expected, notorious schoolyard thug, but by a nation we thought was our friend. It has taken us off-guard, but we are responding to the best of our ability. We are finding our voice and happily for us, our prime minister is the much-needed adult in the schoolyard.

Carney’s strong approval rating across the country speaks to our belief that he understands exactly what and with whom we are dealing and that he is doing the best job possible at keeping us safe.

“Since Trump’s rise to the nation’s highest office, his inflammatory language — often condemned as racist and xenophobic — has seeped into schools across America. Many bullies now target other children differently than they used to, with kids as young as 6 mimicking the president’s insults and the cruel way he delivers them.”

What worries me is that the behaviour of Trump on the world stage is poisoning interactions everywhere in exactly the way these Washington Post reporters describe. Cruelty, insults and the mimicry spewed by a man unworthy of his office are being normalized.

Theo Moudakis’s Toronto Star cartoon captures the tough talk of the moment — the elbows up sentiment — but misses the reality that to “never ever take crap from a bully” can lead to danger for our kids.

Never taking any crap, if that is the lesson our children take from the news, can lead to an “eye for an eye” mentality. It can lead to lashing out without the safety of adult support or even the tacit support of calmer bystanders. We can cheer on a victim who pokes the bully in the nose but coming back from that violence is harder. And the conversation ends.

Carney is demonstrating how to push back without sinking into the mud with the bully. Let’s hope that’s the lesson our kids take away from this hideous situation.

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Kathleen Wynne was Ontario’s first woman premier and leader of the province’s Liberal Party from 2013 to 2018. 

Opinion articles are based on the author’s interpretations and judgments of facts, data and events. More details