Ramaphosa urges men to challenge violence and reshape masculinity at home - TimesLIVE

President Cyril Ramaphosa has called on fathers and men across South Africa to take a firm stand against gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF), saying the fight must begin in homes and in the way boys are raised.

Speaking at the 150th anniversary of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church in South Africa at the Alberton Civic Centre, Ramaphosa urged men to say: “Enough is enough. Not in our name.”

This is as the 10th woman to be found dead in the Ekurhuleni municipality during the past two months has been identified as Ntombifuthi Nxumalo, whose body was found on Saturday morning in Thembisa near the Mooifontein Cemetery in the Vusimuzi section.

Police believe she was stoned to death.

An 11th body was found on Sunday afternoon in Springs.

Ramaphosa said the values of accountability and respect must be visible in everyday life, including how fathers raise their children.

“Fathers must understand that their sons are watching them. A boy learns about manhood from the men around him,” he said.

“He watches how his father speaks to his mother. He watches how men resolve disagreements. He watches how men respond to irritation or to anger.”

Ramaphosa said boys also observe how men express strength.

“He watches whether strength is expressed through aggression or through restraint. We must raise a different generation of young men and boys.

“We must raise boys who know that there is strength and gentleness, that there is courage and kindness,” he said.

“There is honour in self control. There is dignity also in service.”

Ramaphosa said respect for women must be taught as a basic recognition of their humanity, rather than as an act of generosity.

“Respecting women is not a favour that we extend to women. It is recognition of their equal humanity before God.”

He urged men to respect, honour and support women, while calling on churches to become safe spaces for survivors of abuse.

“Our churches must be places of refuge. There must be places where those who suffer know that they will be heard. There must be places where women and children feel safe.”

Abuse must be confronted and never concealed, including within religious communities.

“There must never be a contradiction between what we preach on Sunday and how we behave from Monday to Saturday.

“We cannot gather in our churches on Sundays and remain silent about what happens in our homes and communities during the rest of the week,” he said.

“We cannot worship a God of love and tolerate violence against those whom God has created in his image.”

The president also criticised men who use wealth, power or threats to intimidate women. Referring to a video in which a man threatened women, he said: “A real man does not do that.”

He called on men’s groups and the church to help confront GBVF and promote a culture of accountability.

“Our covenant among men must be clear, it must be firm, and it must be heard throughout our country.

“It must say: ‘Not in our homes, not in our churches, not in our communities and not in our name as the men of South Africa’.”