Son Was Excited To ‘Make Friends’ at School—Then Mom Saw Him in Playground - Newsweek

A mom has shared the heartbreaking moment of what she found her son doing when she arrived to pick him up after his first day of school.

Nessa Lovelyn was "very nervous" about her son Jaxton starting preschool.

"My primary concern was him being treated differently than the other kids because of his autism and facing rejection," she told Newsweek.

Indeed, research has found that children with autism may experience difficulties making friends at school. A 2022 study, published in Psychology in the Schools, followed 166 autistic children for two years and found that they “experienced high rejection and low acceptance,” with 51.9 percent rejected during one or both school years.

But there was more to it than that. Growing up in a small Minnesota town, Lovelyn said her own childhood was "very traumatic," with her focus simply on "surviving each day."

Now, having cut ties with her family, her focus has been on making sure her kids "never feel the way I did." The idea of Jaxton starting preschool had her revisiting her own experiences.

"I remember starting preschool very clearly. I was a nervous wreck and a very shy child. I spent the first day crying but eventually warmed up to it," she said.

It's normal for parents to worry about how their children will cope with the demands of school.

A 2022 Harris Poll for the Kids Mental Health Foundation found that close to four in five parents were concerned, with around a third especially worried about the prospect of their child being bullied.

But while Lovelyn fretted, she said Jaxton was excited throughout the week leading up to his first day.

"Every day he'd tell me he 'can't wait to make friends' and would ask me if I thought he would make any. I would tell him he was going to do amazing and that everyone would love him just like I do," she said.

Lovelyn arrived at Jaxton's school half an hour early for pickup on his first day. That was when she saw him out on the playground, sitting on a swing all alone, with nobody to push him or play with. It was devastating for her to witness.

"I broke down crying and wanted to jump over the school fence so badly just to give him a hug," she said. "The hardest part was knowing that I couldn't and had to watch him fall apart, knowing he had no idea I was right there."

Developmental researchers have long noted that many children with autism want friendships but often face barriers that make early social moments—such as navigating a busy playground—more complicated. A 2026 review published in Research in Developmental Disabilities found that autistic children often struggle with initiating play or interpreting non-verbal cues, “despite a desire for social connection.”

Jaxton didn't say much on the way home that day. Lovelyn said the only thing he told her was: "I love my teacher, but I didn't make any friends. I missed you, mom."

Later, however, she said he opened up more.

"He expressed that he was very sad about not making friends, said nobody wanted to play with or talk to him, and said, 'They didn't like me,'" she said.

"I explained that making friends takes time. I also made sure he understood how special he was and that he didn't need to change anything about himself."

Lovelyn said Jaxton spent the rest of the day practicing how to make friends. He came up with conversation starters and learned how to properly introduce himself. The next day, he returned to preschool more determined than ever.

"Jaxton had his second day of preschool today and he made a friend," Lovelyn said. "He put all his practice to use and it worked out."

Lovelyn shared footage of Jaxton playing alone online, "in hopes that I could get some advice from fellow mothers and to hopefully not feel so alone in what was going on."

The response was overwhelming, with the video receiving over 4.8 million views. Lovelyn believes it's received "such a huge response because it's a situation that is often a silent struggle for so many people."

The response online, coupled with the fact that he had now found a playmate, left Jaxton delighted.

"He is so happy seeing all the support he's gotten from the video and also ecstatic that he found a playmate," Lovelyn said.

When Jaxton first started preschool, Lovelyn was nervous.