South Africa's GBV Crisis: The everyday things women are afraid to do alone - IOL

The discovery of nine women’s bodies in Ekurhuleni has left communities shaken, while SAPS has urged women in and around Kempton Park not to walk or run alone.

For many women, ordinary moments have become calculations: Can I walk there alone? Is it safe to run before sunrise? Should I wait for someone to fetch me?

There was a time when going for a run was simply going for a run.

A woman could put on her trainers, leave home, put in her earphones and disappear into the morning for an hour without having to explain her route to anyone.

Today, for many women in South Africa, even the most ordinary routines can come with a list of safety calculations.

The discovery of the bodies of nine women across Ekurhuleni since July has brought those fears painfully close to home.

Police are investigating whether some of the cases are connected, but have not confirmed that the deaths were carried out by one person or that a serial killer is responsible.

Four of the women have so far been publicly identified.

They include 32-year-old Itumeleng Kekana, whose family had searched for her after she went missing from Kempton Park; 38-year-old Elizabeth “Tsontso” Moselakgomo, a mother and keen runner who disappeared after leaving home for a run; 38-year-old Dineo Evelyn Motapane, whose body was found in KwaThema; and 28-year-old Gracious Nkomo, whose body was discovered along the R21 in Kempton Park.

Behind every name is a family that expected a daughter, mother, sister or friend to come home.

Instead, families have been left waiting for answers.

The fear has become so serious that police have issued specific safety advice to women in and around Kempton Park.

SAPS has warned women to exercise extreme caution following the discovery of multiple bodies in the area. 

“Women in and around Kempton Park are urged not to walk or run alone, particularly in isolated areas,” SAPS said.

Police also advised women to avoid secluded spaces, remain vigilant and, where possible, travel or exercise in groups.

The advice may be intended as a precaution, but for many women, it is difficult not to hear something more painful in it: the things that should be ordinary are no longer being treated as safe.

Among those reacting was Rachel Kolisi, who took to social media to express her feelings about the killings.

In a stark message, she wrote: “Let’s be clear. It’s femicide.”

She followed it with another short message that captured the exhaustion many women have expressed amid the ongoing violence: “I feel sick. Exhausted.”

For women who enjoy running, the decision about when and where to exercise can now involve careful planning.

A quiet road may be ideal for a morning run, but quiet can also mean isolated.

A woman may choose a busy route instead. She may run only during daylight. She may share her location with a loved one or ask someone to accompany her.

For some women, running alone has become something they no longer feel comfortable doing.

Moselakgomo's story has made this fear particularly painful.

The 38-year-old disappeared after leaving her Kempton Park home for her usual run on September 9. Her body was later found in Rhodesfield, close to the R21. Her family subsequently identified her remains.

Walking home after work, school or an evening out should be an ordinary part of adult life.

Yet many women will call someone before they reach their destination.

They will hold their keys between their fingers.

They will cross the road if a man is walking behind them.

They will avoid looking at their phones because they need to remain aware of their surroundings.

Some will pretend to be talking to someone.

Others will ask a friend to stay on the phone until they are safely through the front door.

It is not simply about being afraid.

It is about women knowing that a seemingly ordinary journey can end in tragedy.

For some women, getting into a vehicle with a stranger has become another calculation.

They send a screenshot to a friend.

They call someone and keep the conversation going until they arrive.

What should be a simple journey from one place to another can become an exercise in vigilance.

A woman should be able to meet friends for dinner, attend a concert or enjoy a night out without planning her escape before she has even arrived.

Instead, some women plan who will drive them home, where they will park, who will walk them to their car and who they can call if something goes wrong.

The question is often not simply, “Am I having a good time?”

It is, “How am I getting home safely?”

The country's natural beauty is one of its greatest attractions.

But isolated beaches, hiking trails, parks and scenic areas can also leave people vulnerable when there is little immediate help available.

For many women, the idea of exploring somewhere alone has become difficult.

A solo hike can mean telling several people exactly where you are going.

A walk on the beach can mean choosing a populated stretch rather than a quiet one.

A beautiful viewpoint can come with the uncomfortable thought: Who else is here?

Solo travel is often described as liberating.

For women, however, freedom can come with precautions.

They may research neighbourhoods before booking accommodation, avoid walking after dark and tell family members where they are staying.

They may arrange airport transfers rather than catching public transport alone at night.

The precautions can become so routine that women barely notice how much mental energy they spend managing their own safety.

Even being alone at home can sometimes feel different.

Women check that doors and windows are locked.

They may avoid telling strangers that they live alone.

They may be cautious about accepting deliveries.

They may keep lights on in certain rooms when they are away.

And when something sounds unusual outside, the first instinct may not be curiosity.

A quick trip to the shops should not require a safety plan.

But women can find themselves checking who is nearby in a car park, avoiding empty parking areas and keeping their belongings close.

The journey from the shop entrance to the car can feel longer when it is dark or when there are few people around.

Perhaps one of the most painful consequences of violence against women is that some women have been made to question even their clothing.

A skirt, dress, shorts or low-cut top should never determine whether someone deserves safety.

Yet women are still warned about what they wear, where they go, who they are with and how much they drink.

The responsibility for preventing violence should not be placed on women simply because they are being told how to reduce their exposure to danger.

And perhaps that is the greatest loss.

To exist in public without constantly scanning the environment for danger.

The nine women found dead in Ekurhuleni were not simply numbers added to a growing investigation.

Itumeleng. Elizabeth. Dineo. Gracious.

And there are five more women whose families and loved ones are still waiting for their names to be publicly established.

Their deaths have prompted grief, anger and fear, while investigators work to determine whether there are links between the cases.

A multidisciplinary task team, including specialised detectives and the Investigative Psychology Unit, has been established to investigate the deaths.

How much of our freedom are we surrendering because we are afraid of becoming the next victim?

Precautions can reduce exposure to risk, but women should not have to live by a list of places they cannot go, times they cannot leave home or activities they cannot do alone.

And they should be able to do it without wondering whether they will make it home.