'Why did I make it?': Survivors of Dawson College shooting on compassion, finding purpose

Hayder Kadhim was injured during the Dawson College shooting 20 years ago. He says the tragedy taught him resilience and compassion. (CBC)Social SharingTwenty years ago, Hayder Kadhim was shot in the head, neck and left calf. 

On Sept. 13, 2006, a gunman entered Montreal’s Dawson College, killing Anastasia De Sousa and injuring 19 others, including Kadhim. 

“I lost a friend in Anastasia,” Kadhim said. 

“That was probably one of the toughest things, emotionally, questioning: Why did I make it? Why didn't she?”

But in the weeks and years that followed, Kadhim decided the tragedy wouldn’t write the rest of his story.

Resilience became an overarching theme over the two decades that followed.

“I didn't want to feel like, 'OK, he got me.' I wanted to feel like 'I'm winning.'” 

He approached his recovery with the “mindset of an athlete,” determined to minimize the gunman’s impact on his life. After relying on crutches in the aftermath of the shooting, he was back on a treadmill three weeks later.

His mentality, the support of loved ones, and the connections he made with other survivors helped him through the hardships.

Dawson College shooting victim Hayder Kadhim and the parents of Anastasia De Sousa, Louise and Nelson De Sousa, address reporters at a news conference in Ottawa on Tuesday Nov. 28, 2006, calling for the government to keep the gun registry. (Tom Hanson/The Canadian Press)Finding a purpose As Kadhim worked to move forward, he began questioning his purpose in life. 

“Why was I given a second chance? Is there a mission that I should accomplish?” Kadhim wondered at the time. 

Compassion and empathy became central to that mission. 

He founded Youth 4 Youth, a non-profit organization through which he's led workshops in Quebec schools, raising awareness about violence and bullying. He also became involved in gun control advocacy.

For Kadhim, his work is rooted in the belief that caring for others can improve their lives and create a ripple effect that extends beyond one person.

'Why did you go to school that day?': Mother of Dawson shooting victim reflects 20 years later

“If we could just care a little bit more, I think that could make the biggest difference … whether it's reducing bullying or isolated individuals that commit these types of crazy tragedies,” Kadhim said.

Meaghan Hennegan, a survivor of the Dawson College shooting, has been advocating for stronger gun control in the country for the past 20 years. (Hénia Ould-Hammou/CBC)Meaghan Hennegan has taken a similar path of turning a painful experience into advocacy. 

On the day of the shooting, she was outside the college talking to her mother when she was shot in the arm and buttock. 

“For me, it was just chaos. One second, I was standing, talking to my mom, and then the next, I was on the sidewalk, staring up at the sky, not understanding why I couldn't move my arm or why I couldn't roll over,” she said.

The months that followed were marked by fear. Even years later, while attending university, Hennegan said she sometimes had to leave class because of overwhelming panic.

But today, the emotions feel “a lot less raw” and the panic has faded with time. 

“I'm older and more mature, emotionally and mentally, so things that worried me or frustrated me about the experience when I was younger, I've been able to let a lot of that go as I grew as a person,” she said. 

Meaghan Hennegan, who was shot twice during the Dawson College shooting, holds up a board showing assault weapons as she joins other gun control advocates in a news conference on Bill C-71 on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Dec. 3, 2018. (Sean Kilpatrick/The Canadian Press)Hennegan has spent the past two decades advocating for stronger gun control laws with PolySeSouvient, turning her “negative emotions and something that could've been a terrible experience for the rest of my life” into meaningful impact.

On Wednesday, survivors and families wrote a letter to Prime Minister Mark Carney, calling for action on three priorities, including completing the assault-style firearms ban and removing those weapons from circulation.

“The upcoming anniversary is an opportunity to honour the victims of Dawson College with action – not further consultations, delays or excuses,” reads the letter, also signed by Kadhim and De Sousa’s mother.

For Hennegan, remembering the shooting means looking beyond the “bad parts” and focusing instead on the humans whose lives were changed and real prevention.

She’ll attend the ceremony at Dawson College Friday, marking the 20th anniversary of the shooting.

Hénia Ould-Hammou is a Montreal journalist with CBC News. She previously completed an internship with La Presse after graduating from McGill University with a double major in political science and psychology. Hénia is interested in international and societal issues, community stories, soccer, politics and rap. You can send her an email at henia.ould-hammou@cbc.ca